A Carousal of Masks
by FacelessFront
Summary: After they defeated the Nogitsune, everyone's lives drastically changed. For Stiles, coping hasn't been easy, and it may take a little help from Derek to set him on the right path.
1. A Carousal of Masks

The hot, glistening sun was shinning down on the residents of Beacon Hills on a regular summer day. Children were laughing and playing on the playground by the school while the nearby mothers and occasional father lounged around and gossiped about their neighbors and planned their next weekend barbeque. Families were dressed in either flowery sundresses or board shorts while wearing ridiculously sized straw hats as they made their way to the public pool or a nearby beach. Teenagers were scattered throughout town, enjoying their summer session without the ever-so-difficult struggles of homework or teachers who were out to get them.

Stiles barely remembers a time when schoolwork was the most difficult and stressful part of his day. It seems so long ago that school actually mattered to him in the grand scheme of things.

Sitting alone on a distant bench, away from the perpetual smiles and sunshine that lay before him, Stiles can't help but feel both jealous and angry at the idyllic scene of naïve and careless citizens in front of him.

There was a time when he was like them. A time when he had not a care in the world beyond meaningless crushes and making frontline in lacrosse. Not long ago, the town he called home was the place he wished to grow up and raise a family in. The weather, the people, and even the schools all seemed so great to the young boy who was always so cheerful and outgoing. Stiles wished, prayed, and even begged that he could go back to that time. He'd give anything just to be a regular teenager again who had regular friends and regular problems.

After all, regular people weren't responsible for carrying the weight of death, murder, and loss on their shoulders before they were even eighteen.

So as Stiles sat on the wooden bench, he observed everyone as they passed by, noting one common mood that they all seemed to share.

Blissful happiness.

Unfortunately for Stiles, happiness is something that he hasn't felt in a very long time. Sure, he's been able to put on a smile or two when anyone asks if he's ok, and no one is better than Stiles when it comes to putting on a brave face when other people need him to, but genuine happiness has not been present within the young man for quite awhile. Every reassuring face he has plastered on, and every pleasantry he has exchanged have all just been part of a carousal of well-constructed masks to hide the truth.

The truth that the great Stiles Stilinski, the dependable optimist, had been broken.

Ever since the Nogitsune possessed him, Stiles has not been the same. Haunted is the easy way to describe what has become of the boy that once was, and slowly he has been falling into an even greater darkness that has overwhelmed him. Plagued by nightmares of what he did while under the control of the Nogitsune, it has been impossible for Stiles to recover from the traumatic event that saw him kill and hurt many people, including his friends and family.

Including Allison.

He can't close his eyes without seeing the bloodshed and death that this town witnessed while the Nogitsune went on its rampage. It doesn't help that his group of friends has been fractured to the point that he doesn't know if they can ever be fixed.

Issac disappeared shortly after Allison's death with her father to do god knows what, and has not been seen or heard from since. Likewise, Ethan also left town after his brother died, needing to move past the terror that seems to come from living in Beacon Hills.

Lydia has nearly closed herself off from the rest of the group and nearly fights back tears whenever she's around any of them. After losing both her best friend and boyfriend, no one blames her for wanting to leave all this stuff behind. Unfortunately, any semblance of a normal life seems impossible at this point for the young girl.

Kira avoids most of them due to her own guilt and shame over the incident and her mother's involvement with the Oni. Occasionally she was seen with Scott in the halls while school was still in session, though Stiles hasn't seen much of her since the summer began.

Even Danny has been avoiding everyone after Ethan left, rightfully not wanting to get involved in any supernatural matters that bring nothing but pain and suffering.

The worst however has been Scott. Of all people, his best friend has been the most difficult person he's tried to face.

No matter how many people who tell Stiles that this wasn't his fault, that it was the Nogitsune that caused everything, he still blames himself. It was still him who was controlled by this, _thing_.

It was him who took control of the Oni away from Kira's mother and massacred a police station and a hospital.

It was him who got Allison killed.

Looking Scott in the eyes for the first time after Allison died was the hardest thing Stiles ever had to do. The pain and suffering that filled every part of Scott's being culminated in the most devastating look Stiles had ever seen in the eyes of his childhood friend.

This grief that Stiles believed he caused Scott to feel leaches onto his conscious every waking moment, and the eyes that Stiles looked into that day have been branded into his memory.

This is why Stiles has not looked Scott in the eyes since.

Thinking back on everything that has happened, Stiles doesn't know how it all managed to get so screwed up. He doesn't understand how a group so close as his group of friends could have its foundation destroyed so quickly.

He simply doesn't know what to do.

Stiles is the one who is suppose to have all the answers. He's supposed to be there for everyone to depend on and to help. He's the support system that anyone can turn to looking for help.

Recently though, he has been nothing.

No longer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to talk to, or a body to hug, The connection that Stiles had with almost every person he cared about has fallen apart, and he doesn't know how to get it back. Doesn't even know if he ever can. The guilt makes him believe that he doesn't really deserve to anyways.

All he knows is that he's lost and alone, and no one can help him.

No one can fix what he's done.

After begrudgingly helping a girl retrieve her kite from a tree, Derek continued walking through the park as he headed to Scott's house to see how the teenage alpha was holding up. The boy had obviously been distraught from the whole ordeal with the Nogitsune and Allison, and Derek was worried that Scott still hadn't recovered from everything.

Although he doesn't openly admit it, Derek cares about Scott's well being, and doesn't like seeing how badly Allison's death has affected Scott and his friends.

While passing a man trying to tie his son's shoe while the mother retrieves the other shoe from a pond, Derek is suddenly hit with a gut wrenching smell that's strong enough to stop him in his tracks.

Looking around, he notices that it's coming from a bench slightly in the distance. A man with his back facing Derek sits with his head in his hands, and when listening closely, Derek can hear the slight sound of crying coming from that direction.

Derek knows he should just ignore the sight and continue on with his own business, but the smell is so overpowering that he finds himself questioning what to do.

Complete and utter misery is radiating off of the man ahead of him, and Derek can smell the shame and hopelessness that is within him.

Derek knows this pain. He knows this smell.

Guilt.

Anguish.

Loss.

Instantly, Derek can relate to this man's life, knowing that he went through what Derek went through with his own family. The feeling of responsibility over the death of those you love, being helpless to those that need you, and knowing there's nothing you can do to change the past are all things Derek understands completely.

Without realizing, Derek has been subconsciously walking over to the bench as he's contemplated just how tragic this man's life must be to put off such a scent. As he approaches the man, another scent soon overcomes him that stops him once again in his own tracks.

He can smell Stiles.

Initially masked by the smell of his emotions, Derek realizes that it is Stiles who is sitting alone on the bench, and his heart immediately breaks for the boy who should never experience feelings like this at such a young age, or hell, even ever.

Confused even more now and only a few feet from the kid, Derek doesn't know if he should walk away or check to see how the boy's doing. Truth be told, him and Stiles have always had a difficult relationship when it came to understanding each other, and Derek tended to get easily annoyed with his antics, but Derek couldn't just leave the kid here, could he?

Fortunately, or unfortunately for Derek, the decision was made for him when Stiles felt like he was being watched and turned around to see Derek standing behind him.

"Derek! What are you doing here?" Stiles nearly shouted as he frantically wiped at his eyes. Having Derek see him cry was not on his to do list for today.

" I, uh…" Derek mumbled, trying desperately to figure out what to say after being caught off guard. " I was going to Scott's to see if he was doing okay."

"Oh, ok then." Stiles said, not sure what exactly to say to the normally cold wolf.

The two stood there silently for what seemed like minutes, which equated to actually be about eight seconds, while looking at everything and anything besides each other.

"So how are you doing?" Derek finally spoke up.

"I'm fine." Stiles blurted out a little to quickly to go unnoticed.

"You don't look fine."

"Well I am." Stiles forced on one of his trademarked grins before staring at the ground, hoping it was good enough to please the werewolf so he left.

"You were crying." Derek spoke softly, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation, and unsure exactly how much to push the kid.

"Did you do that werewolf sense thing and listen to me?" Stiles questioned.

"I smelled you."

"Excuse me?"

"I mean I could smell your emotions." Derek didn't like where this conversation was headed, but felt like he needed to at least try and help. "I know everyone's still dealing with the Allison situation, and I could smell your guilt and pain."

After a few seconds, Stiles finally looked up from the ground and directly at Derek, eyes starting to tear all over again.

"It's not a situation... She's dead, and she's never coming back." Stiles lip quivered as he stopped to take a deep breath. "It's all because of me." Stiles voice was barely a whisper at this point, as he went to sit back down on the bench.

Once again facing Stiles' back, Derek didn't know what to do. Slowly, he made his way to the other side of the bench as he sat down next Stiles, keeping a fair distance between them.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, Stiles occasionally wiping at his eyes, as neither really knew what to say or do in this circumstance. Finally, Derek spoke up, hoping to calm Stiles down a little.

"It's not your fault."

Gradually, Stiles turned to look up at Derek with fresh tears streaming down his face, bearing no pretence of being "fine" anymore.

"That's what everyone keeps saying, but why don't I feel like that's the case. I can tell they all look at me differently, and I know that deep down they will always see me as the monster that killed Allison and everyone else." Word Vomit. All Stiles could define this uncontrolled outburst as is word vomit. However, he didn't care, he just needed someone to understand and listen to him for once. So he pushed forward and continued to let everything pour out of him.

" If it's not my fault, why has everyone left me? Why has everyone abandoned me? Why is every one of my friends gone?" Stiles was having a complete breakdown at this point, and couldn't stop himself from sobbing any longer. He was tired of everyone pretending that they didn't blame him, and that they were just lying to protect him. He knew the truth, and the truth was that he was a murderer.

Derek was frozen in place as he watched Stiles openly weep in front of him. He's been so focused on making sure Scott's had support in order to get through this, but he never thought about how Stiles might have been handling everything. It made sense to Derek that Stiles would blame himself for all the death and chaos, as it was him that was taken over by the Nogitsune. Derek realizes that the kid has a point in that looking at him does remind people of what happened. Seeing the face that represented terror and death will cause traumatized people to avoid him, and although it may not have been Stiles himself, it was still his body being used. However, everyone knows it's not Stiles' fault for what happened, and no one honestly blames him. Derek wished Stiles would understand that, and he felt like an idiot for not thinking about how badly Stiles was coping with his friend's death.

Derek wasn't sure how to convey this to a distraught Stiles, so he did the only thing he could think.

Before Stiles could react, Derek slide over to him and pulled him into what Stiles could only describe as the tightest bear, or wolf, hug he's ever experienced. After the initial shock wore off a bit, Stiles leaned his head against Derek's shoulder as his sobbing subsided and his breathing started to return to normal.

Derek listened closely as he heard Stiles' heartbeat slow down and crying soften. His shoulder was damp as tears seeped through his t-shirt, but all he was focused on was making sure Stiles felt that he was there for him. When Derek was in this position, all he wanted was for someone to help and understand him, but he had no one. Derek was going to make sure that Stiles doesn't go through this alone.

He's going to make sure that he's going to be there whenever he needs him.

As he started to calm down and gain slight composure, Stiles slid his head from Derek's shoulder to his chest. Soon he found himself listening to Derek's steady heartbeat, which served as an effective distraction from all the thoughts that have been running through his head.

At one point, Stiles moved his hand to rest it on Derek's thigh, noticing the wolf stiffen as his heartbeat skip a beat. Stiles couldn't help but smile to himself at his own amusement of Derek feeling uncomfortable.

For the first time in a long time, that was Stiles' most genuine smile.

Hopefully with Derek, he would need no more masks.

* * *

**Hey, this is my first official fanfiction writing ever! So hope you guys enjoy :)**

**If there's any spelling mistakes or any really dumb thing I messed up, feel free to let me know. I edited this on way to little sleep, and probably made it worse than it was before.**

**Also, I intended to make this a one-shot, as it's my first attempt at Teen Wolf fan fiction, but if you guys like it and review it, I may expand on it a little with more chapters, so please leave reviews if you can. I would LOVE feedback and critique. **


	2. A Reflection in the Window

A storm has rolled its way into Beacon Hills following the sunny day that blessed the seemingly quiet town's residents just hours before. A crescent moon is veiled behind the scattered curtains of rain clouds and the electrical flashes of light that can be seen throughout the night sky.

The normal sounds of crickets and owls have been masked by the pings and pangs of raindrops being reflected off the roofs of metal sheds and cracking pavement. Light thunder can be heard rolling over the distant hills of the neighboring town, slowly increasing in volume as it inches closer.

Staring out his window into the fervent storm, Stiles feels it is only appropriate for the weather to fit the mood that has enveloped the town in recent memory.

Sitting alone in his room, the only light resonates from a couple of candles placed on his desk to ward off complete darkness. Nearly an hour ago the town's power seemed to go out on the whole, and although many assumed it was caused by the storm, Stiles believed it to be more than that.

These days, it was always something more.

With no outside light shining in, little could be seen by Stiles outside his window, and he soon found himself staring into the light, glowing reflection of his own face within the glass pane as he contemplated his run in with Derek from earlier that day.

It amazed him how comforting Derek was towards him, even willing to physically hug him as he pathetically sobbed into the mans shoulder. Stiles didn't even know Derek had it in him to show that much compassion and empathy, and he couldn't have been more grateful for it to shrine through than at that moment on the bench.

At a time so lost and confused, a time where everything just got to a point that was to much to handle, Derek had shown up as some kind of knight in shining armor to take just a little piece of the pain away. Stiles didn't know why he felt so much better after their conversation. He still carries the blame for Allison's death, and he still feels responsible for everything that has happened.

But whenever he closes his eyes now, instead of the death and destruction that has haunted him for months, he is reminded of Derek's heartbeat on the park bench.

Stiles knows that he will always be thankful for what Derek did. The simple act of being listened to and understood was something Stiles had not experienced in a long time. His friends have all been so concerned with themselves and their own lives to really stop and question how Stiles was doing.

He didn't blame them of course, as he had put them all through so much trouble when he was under the influence of the Nogitsune. He couldn't expect them to be there for him, as he couldn't be there for them either.

But Derek had been there, and although it may have been a one-time encounter, it was enough to make Stiles feel a little better about himself.

As he continued to look off into the black night sky from his window, a small smile softly crawled up his face as the rain pounced off the glass.

A short while later, a small knock came from his bedroom door as Sheriff Stilinski slowly peaked into the room, distracting Stiles from his thoughts.

"Hey kid, how are you holding up?" The Sheriff asked.

"I'm fine dad, it's just a storm." Stiles huffed. His dad always felt the need to constantly check on him whenever a storm came through town.

"Just making sure. When you were young, you were frightened of thunder and always ended up in bed with me and your mother." The Sheriff paused, glancing down and speaking softly. "She would always have to sing you Itsy Bitsy Spider to calm you down till you fell asleep."

"Well I'm not a child anymore." Stiles spat bitterly. "I haven't been in a long time."

"I know son."

They quietly stood there for a moment before the Sheriff perked up a little before speaking again.

"Well I'm off to bed, so I'll see you in the morning. Make sure to blow those candles out before you fall asleep. We don't need to burn the house down in the middle of the night, although I'm sure this rain could put it out."

"I will. Goodnight dad."

"Night son."

As the Sheriff closed the door, Stiles turned back to face the window once again. Ever since his dad found out about the supernatural stuff going on in town, and especially after Allison died, it always seems to Stiles that whenever they talk, his dad always feels the need to tell stories about Stiles as a child and his mother.

It's obvious to Stiles that his father hasn't quite coped with everything going on around him these days. Knowing your child has been messed up in all these dangerous situations would make any parent wish for the old days when life was simple and safe. It's hard to lose your wife alone, and when you consider having to fear for your son's life almost everyday as well, it's understandable to want to live in the past when you could understand everything and had control.

Although Stiles could recognize his father's need to remember and focus on all the good memories from Stiles' childhood, it was starting to grate on him that all of their conversations have become so focused on the past.

If harping on the past is what his father wants to do, then so be it, but Stiles can't forget about the present and what's going on. He's not a child anymore and his dad needs to understand that. Stiles has gone through to much to simply pretend that he's just a regular teenager anymore, and his dad needs to accept that he grew up faster than he may have wanted to.

With a sigh, Stiles once again loses himself into his own reflection within the windowpane, as his mind replays the events of earlier in the park.

* * *

Sometimes Derek really hated his life.

For whatever reason, he currently found himself soaking wet while standing outside Stiles' house in the middle of the night, not knowing how he even ended up here.

Well he knew how he got here, but he wasn't really sure exactly why.

After meeting with Scott for a couple hours to see how he was doing, Derek had walked to a small diner near the center of town to eat. Halfway through his meal, he could hear the faint rumble of thunder in the distance. Knowing a storm was approaching, Derek had planned to finish quickly and be on his way.

The waitress on the other hand had other ideas, and Derek found himself having to spend most his time listening to her talk about her life and school. After she finally left to check on her other customers, Derek realized it had already started to pour outside. Not wanting to get soaked, he thought he'd try to wait it out inside the diner.

As he sat in his booth in the back corner, not wanting to be around the other chatty patrons who slowly filed out to get home before the storm got worse, Derek found himself wondering how Stiles had been since they talked earlier.

* * *

After composing himself, Stiles had finally pulled away from Derrick as they sat on the bench together, not exactly sure of what they just shared in that moment.

"Thank you." Stiles whispered as he looked down onto the grass beneath him. "I didn't mean to throw this all at you, but… I just… Thank you." Was all Stiles could force out, emotionally and mentally drained from everything that had happened.

"It's ok." Derek said, not sure how to comfort the kid.

"Normally, I'm much more composed than this, I've just had a rough day. Really though, I've been fine." Stiles claimed, trying to make it seem like not such a big deal.

"Don't lie to me." Derek stated coldly.

"I'm sorry?"

"I know you're lying. Need I remind you, I can sense it."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess you can." Stiles said, feeling like he just got chastised for doing something wrong.

They sat there for a couple minutes not knowing how to proceed. Again, the silence was becoming too common between the two, and Derek felt he had to say something to the poor kid, who clearly felt like he had no one.

"I'm here for you." Derek mumbled as he fidgeted with his fingers, clearly not use to being a support system and feeling quite awkward about it.

Stiles looked up, looking at Derek with a questioning gaze as he wrapped his head around what he just heard. "What did you just say?" Questioned a bewildered Stiles.

Derek sighed, still refusing to look back at the boy. "I said I'm… I'm here for you. If you need me that is."

Derek felt eyes burning into the side of his face as Stiles stared him done, wondering how to respond to Derek's general niceness that he was so not expecting.

Derek wanted to help, he really did, but he couldn't sit there another second without exploding. His knuckles whitened as he clenched his fists, he stopped breathing as he held his breath without thinking, and his back stiffened to the point where he was barely sitting on the bench anymore. The sheer, uncomfortable nature of this was something that saw Derek completely out of his element, and he was about to panic and run.

Right before Derek was able to get up and leave, he heard Stiles start chuckling to himself next to him.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked angrily, thinking the boy was mocking him.

"I'm sorry, but you look so uncomfortable trying to be nice to me." Stiles giggled. "It's just funny seeing you struggle so much to care."

"I care." Derek bit back, a little mad that Stiles didn't think he cared about him at all. "I'm just not very good at being there for people."

"You're there for Scott." Stiles stated plainly. "You were even headed to see him."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"We're both werewolves. I can understand him easily. I generally know how to handle him. How to treat him." Derek explained, hoping he didn't insult Stiles.

"So you don't know how to handle me?" Stiles grinned.

"We haven't ever really been on the same page, so no, I don't really know how to handle you."

Stiles looked like he accepted that answer, and nodded once to himself. They sat, once again, quietly for a few moments before Derek spoke up.

"But I'd like to try."

"Really?" Stiles asked, a bit taken back by the werewolf.

"Look, I know how you feel, and I know what it's like to blame yourself for all the bad things that are going on around you. What you're feeling is something I can relate to, something that I felt a long time ago. We might not always get along, but I know what it's like to be in your position."

Derek wasn't sure where he was heading with this, but he felt like he needed to make his point clear.

"All in all, you and your friends have helped me a lot since we've gotten to know each other, and I'd hate myself if I didn't try to help you when you needed it for once." Derek sighed. "Especially since I know a lot about what you're feeling."

If Stiles didn't know better, he'd say that Derek was actually showing genuine interest in how he felt. He's known the werewolf for so long now, but he never really thought that Derek might care about him in some sense. Either way, Stiles felt good knowing that Derek was at least trying.

"I hope you mean what you say." Stiles stated, looking right into the eyes of the werewolf next to him. "It's good to know I'm not alone in this."

"You're not." Derek confirmed, looking right back into the eyes across from him.

The soft look they exchanged lingered a second longer than both thought appropriate, resulting in both of them quickly breaking eye contact.

"You should get going. Don't want to keep Scott waiting long." Stiles said before standing up and getting ready to leave.

"Yeah, you're right." Derek paused. "Are you two ok?" Derek questioned, not knowing if this would be a sore spot for the boy.

"Yeah, we're fine." Stiles confirmed.

"Stiles…"

"Ok, so we're not the best we've been. Honestly though, it's not his fault, I'm just working through everything right now."

"Talk to him at some point." Derek said, almost like a command.

"I will." Stiles nodded.

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Good. Now I'm gonna get going. Will you let me know if you need anything?" Derek asked hesitantly.

"I will." Stiles said honestly.

"Take care."

After taking a couple steps to leave, Stiles stopped to turn around for a second. "Oh, and Derek."

"Yes?"

"Again. Thank you. I really mean it." Stiles said with another genuine smile.

"No problem."

And with that, the two parted ways to enjoy, or at least get through, their respective days.

* * *

While thinking about Stiles and how he might have been holding up, Derek was jolted out of his own thoughts by the power to the diner being cut. Looking around, it was almost pitch black, but Derek could see a bit more than normal due to his enhanced senses.

A couple flashlights emerged from the kitchen as one of the waitresses said they were closing for the night, despite being a 24/7 diner. Understandable Derek thought, as you couldn't really cook without any electricity.

Leaving some money on the table, Derek moved to head out the front door before being stopped by his waitress from earlier.

"I'm heading home, do you need a ride?" She asked with the widest smile she could muster. "I noticed you didn't drive here, and I could never forgive myself if I let you walk in this rain."

Derek had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at her lack of subtlety.

"I'm fine, I don't live far."

"Are you sure?" She questioned.

"Yes." Derek uttered, quickly heading into the parking lot before she had a chance to respond.

Outside, the town was just as dark as it was inside the diner. With no streetlights or traffic signals, the only light came from the flashes of lighting or the occasional car trying to get home without dying.

Derek had lied about living nearby, and really didn't like having to walk in the rain, which had immediately drenched him upon stepping outside.

Not wanting to have to talk to that insufferable waitress any longer, he opted to walk out of sight of the diner before figuring out how to get home.

As he stood under the awning of a closed ice cream shop, he couldn't help but think about how close Stiles lived to where he currently was. Although telling himself it was a bad idea, he couldn't help but want to stop by and check on the kid. It wasn't his job to care for Stiles, but he figured that he was close enough that it wouldn't be a hassle to stop by as he walked home.

This was the justification that Derek used as he headed for the kid's house, conveniently forgetting that it was in the opposite direction of his own home.

* * *

Sometimes Derek really hated his life.

It wasn't until he stopped outside Stiles' window that he realized exactly what he was doing. Not only had he walked roughly twenty minutes from the diner to Stiles house in the pouring rain, but he also failed to realize that it was nearly one in the morning.

Derek knew he was a crazy person, that's been established, and frankly, he felt like a huge creeper just staring up at the kid's window, questioning the decision he made in coming here tonight.

Derek was prepared to turn around and head home, but suddenly noticed Stiles walk up towards the window. Derek initially panicked, thinking he'd be seen, but soon realized it was pitch black out, and that he was wearing his usual black clothes and jacket, effectively making him invisible to the human eye.

As he watched Stiles stare out into space, Derek couldn't tell if the kid was crying, or if it was just rain reflected onto his face as it slid off the window.

Taking a deep breath, Derek stopped trying to rationalize everything and decided to just see how the kid was doing. Slowly making his way towards the house, Derek moved to climb up the latticework that led to Stiles' bedroom window.

All Derek could think about was what he was even going to say. He didn't even know if Stiles would let him in.

All he could do was wish that he wasn't making a huge mistake.

* * *

**Hey everyone! So I decided to add another chapter. Writing the first one was so enjoyable, I thought I'd expand on it a little.**

**I'm still really new to writing like this, so I'm still unsure about how far I'm going to take this story. Again, reviews would be so helpful if you could. Critique or just praise is always appreciated, and will help me adjust my writing style and what I can improve upon if need be.**

**So if you like what you've read so far, let me know and we'll see how far I continue this wild adventure :) **


	3. Blown Out Candles

Glancing out into the pitch-black sky, Stiles sat by the window in his room wondering what was next to come along in his horror show of a life. He silently wished that he could go back in time and fix everything that had happened. He wished it all worked out differently.

He knew that it was impossible though. Death and pain was the norm these days for him and his friends, and at this point, it seemed it would never stop. Being tied in with the supernatural world brought with it all the responsibility you couldn't even imagine, and frankly it was becoming too much for Stiles.

While drifting deeper into his own thoughts, Stiles failed to realize the approaching figure that was making its way towards his window. The lack of power and heavy rain made it even more difficult to make out anything that existed in the outside world, and Stiles was only snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed slight movement in front of him.

Stiles peered closer to the glass to try and see the distorted shape that seemed to linger only a few feet away, and in that moment a flash of lighting illuminated the cold, hard face of Derek Hale staring back at him.

Falling backwards out of his chair from shock, Stiles found himself landing on his floor with a loud thud.

Derek opened the window from the outside and slowly climbed in as Stiles scrambled to his feet in a bit of a daze.

"Are you alright?" Derek asked as he planted his feet on the ground, closing the window behind him.

"I'm fine. Where the hell did you come from?" Stiles questioned, more than a little confused while rubbing his arm slightly.

"Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself?" Derek question.

"Derek! What are you doing in my room?"

"I wanted to make sure you were doing ok." Derek hoped that was good enough of an excuse, as he now clearly realized this looks as bad as he thinks it does.

"So you had to climb through my window?" Stiles asked, still not knowing what to even make of this.

"It's late and I figured your father might be sleeping so I wanted to be quiet." Derek tried explaining, though he knew how insane he seemed at the moment.

"Of course he's sleeping, it's the middle of the night!" Stiles blurted.

"I know, I realize that. I guess I wasn't really thinking." Derek mumbled, feeling like an idiot. He really didn't think any of this through.

They stood there silently for a moment before Derek spoke up.

"I can leave if you want me to. I didn't mean to bother you."

"No, it's fine. You can stay." Stiles' confusion started to fade as he became more curious as to why Derek of all people decided to show up in his room.

In the pouring rain.

In the middle of the night.

Stiles moved to take a seat on his bed while Derek continued to stand in the middle of the room, slowly shifting his weight back and forth between his feet.

"You can sit down you know, I don't expect you to stand all night." Stiles stated, casting a pleased grin at the sight of a soaking Derek who once again looked as uncomfortable as always.

Derek moved to pick up the desk chair Stiles had knocked over from before and went to take a seat.

Before he had the chance to sit down, Stiles quickly shouted to him.

"Maybe you should change before you sit! Sorry, but I don't really want you to get my entire room drenched." Stiles hoped he didn't offend the guy, but he seriously did not feel like having water all over the place.

"And what do you suggest I change into?" Derek questioned, looking slightly annoyed.

"I have clothes." Stiles offered nonchalantly.

"They'd barely fit."

"Not my problem." Said Stiles. Once again clearly amused by Derek's obvious desire to be anywhere else.

"Fine. I don't feel like staying wet anyways." Derek gave in begrudgingly.

Stiles jumped up and strode past Derek to his dresser to see if he had anything that would remotely fit the bulking werewolf besides him. Digging through the drawers he found one of his gym shirts he used for lacrosse, which ran slightly bigger than his other clothes. He then found a pair of sweatpants that his aunt got him last Christmas, which he never wore. Normally he found them ugly, as they were bright red and covered in snowflakes and reindeer, but he thought they would be hilarious for Derek to wear.

Throwing the clothes to Derek, Stiles walked back to take a seat on his bed as he watched Derek change.

Derek removed his jacket and top as he then quickly pulled the dry shirt over his head before running his hand through his hair a couple times.

Slowly he went to unbutton his pants before he stopped to look at Stiles.

"Do you have to watch me change?" Derek asked.

"Is it making you uncomfortable?" Stiles responded.

"Yes."

"Then yes." Stiles chuckled.

With a huff Derek quickly threw off his pants and slid the horrendously offending sweatpants on as Stiles laughed from his bed.

"These are hideous." Derek growled.

"I think they look quite nice." Stiles said while smirking to himself.

"Whatever." Derek murmured as he made his way to sit at the bottom of the bed, bypassing the desk chair.

As Derek sat on the bed's edge, Stiles turned and lifted his feet while pulled his knees into himself before resting his chin on one of them like a child eagerly waiting to hear a story.

"So why did you come here again?" Stiles questioned, still looking for an answer.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok. After our talk earlier, I was worried you weren't doing to good. You can't pretend everything's fine." Answered Derek.

"I know." Stiles stated, his amusement quickly fading away as he started to become sullen once again. "It's just that so much has happened, and so much has been racing through my head. I still haven't even been able to process it all yet."

Stiles paused briefly before he began to speak again.

"All the guilt that's left weighing on me is driving me crazy, and I can barely stand to be around anyone anymore because I know that all they see is the monster that I was."

"The monster that I am."

"Stiles, I told you that's not the case. People don't see you like that." You're not a monster." Derek offered, knowing Stiles wouldn't believe him. After all, Derek has felt this way many times himself.

"I appreciate the support, but that's not true." Stiles responded, staring at his hands as he fidgeted with his fingers. "Sure, some people may not think so, but I know most of them do. I don't blame them at all though. After the things I did, I wouldn't be able to look at myself either."

Derek sighed. He wasn't sure how he was going to get it through this boy's thick skull that he wasn't responsible for all this. At the very least he knew he had to try.

"People think I'm a monster. At one point, nearly every single person around thought I was. I was considered a murderer, evil, and people thought I deserved to die. I know plenty still do." Derek continued on. "I know you did at one point. You can't pretend you didn't. In the end though, do you think I'm a monster for the things I have done? Whether they were because of my own volition or because I was forced to?"

Quietly the both sat there for a moment before Stiles spoke up.

"I don't think you're a monster." Stiles whispered.

"Then why are you?" Derek questioned. "Why do the things something else did reflect on who you are as a person?"

Derek focused his eyes on Stiles, hoping he understood what he was trying to say.

"The actions of the Nogitsune are not your own. I know you could have never done those things. Everyone knows that. Stiles." Derek paused. "You're a good person. A great one. You hold everyone together with your happiness and optimism. Your wit and personality. So many people depend on that."

"They depend on you."

"Your group of friends hasn't fallen apart because they all blame you for what happened. They're struggling because you haven't been there to help them along the way. To give them hope and courage. To remind them to be the best that they can be."

"You may not realize this, but they all hold you in the highest regard. Every time I would talk to them about you their eyes would instantly light up as if you were the best thing in the world."

After a few silent moments, Stiles lifted his head with a smile and looked to Derek.

"You talk about me?" Stiles asked playfully.

"Shut up, you know what I mean." Derek grunted.

Stiles chuckled softly as he sat up and reached a hand to grab Derek's arm.

"Thank you." Stiles said, before falling backwards onto his bed and stretching out to lie down.

"You know, I never realized how awesome you can be." Stiles said before placing his hands under his head and beneath his pillow.

"Thanks." Derek huffed, slight amusement in his voice.

"Seriously, I wish you were always this kind, caring Derek instead of the cold, scary Derek who wanted to rip my throat out." Stiles admitted.

"Who says I still don't?" Derek questioned with a smile.

"Oh please, you love me. Just admit it." Stiles grinned.

"Shut up."

They sat there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence as the rain continued to tap at the window.

"Umm, so how are you getting home?" Stiles asked nervously.

"Well I walked here, so I'll have to walk back." Derek answered regrettably, not wanting to get soaked again.

"You can't walk in this!" Stiles basically yelled.

"What else can I do?"

"You can sleep here." Replied Stiles as he sat up.

"You mean in your bed?" Derek asked skeptically.

"I was thinking on the couch, but hey, that works to." Stiles said before chuckling.

"Your dad won't mind me on his couch?"

"No, I'm sure he'd rather that than having you walk home in this. Besides, I think he might just be happy that I had a friend over." Stiles confessed.

"Who says we're friends?" Derek joked.

"Quiet you." Stiles declared as he threw a pillow at Derek, who quickly caught it before whipping it right back at Stiles.

* * *

For the next hour or so, Stiles and Derek found themselves talking about life in Beacon Hills and how it always seemed so surreal. Jumping from topics such as how there could be such a high murder rate with virtually no federal investigations to their shared disbelief that there never seemed to be national news coverage of the multiple killing sprees that went on in a fairly small town. They even wondered why everyone hasn't simply moved away due to the multiple rampages that have occurred at places like the school, hospital, and police station. They couldn't believe that anyone still felt safe living around here.

At one point during the conversation, Stiles got up to blow out the candles around his room, making sure he didn't give his dad a reason to rip him a new one in the morning. As he did so, Derek found himself unintentionally lying down on Stiles' bed due to pure exhaustion from the day's events.

As Stiles blew out the last few candles, leaving a couple on his nightstand so him and Derek could still see, he didn't notice Derek starting to nod off on his bed.

As Stiles went to sit back down, he realized Derek was lying with his eyes half closed and could discern a slight snore coming from the werewolf. He couldn't stop himself from laughing as he opted to lie down next to Derek instead of sitting.

The slight noise and movement jolted Derek back awake as he felt Stiles' presence next to him. Instantly, Derek went to sit up, as he felt bad for falling asleep on the kid's bed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pass out." Derek mumbled.

"Don't worry about, you must be tired. Besides, it was an adorable sight." Stiles giggled

Once again, Derek grabbed a pillow and proceeded to whack Stiles with it in the face.

"Hey, watch it!" Stiles yelped. "You could poke my eye out."

"Mmhmm." Derek motioned to get off the bed but Stiles quickly grabbed at his arm, pulling him back down before even realizing what he was doing.

Derek looked questioningly at Stiles, but didn't move to get back up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to grab you. I guess I don't want you to get up." Stiles offered weakly. "It's kind of comforting to have someone next to you. Makes you feel like someone cares."

"Don't get all sappy on me." Derek whined jokingly.

"Hey, I went through a lot!" You have to do what I say, I'm emotional." Stiles whimpered teasingly, fully aware how ridiculous he was being.

"Fine, I'll stay here." Derek surrendered. "But you better not keep me up all night talking."

"Cool." Stiles sounded pleased.

After a couple minutes, Stiles rolled towards Derek and lifted himself up on his elbows. Glancing down at Derek, he noticed his eyes were closed again at this point.

"Do you really think all this wasn't my fault?"

Derek opened his eyes to see Stiles looking down at him with a solemn expression on his face. Gradually he reached his hand to Stiles' hair and pulled his head down to rest on his chest so he could hear his heartbeat, like he did in the park.

"Stiles, I know this wasn't your fault. Nothing bad could ever be your fault." Derek whispered.

Derek could hear a slight sniffle come from Stiles before he lifted Stiles' face so he could look him right in the eyes, only a few inches from his own.

"You're not a monster." Derek declared.

Slowly a smile crept up Stiles' face as he maintained eye contact with Derek, who he realizes has been the most amazing person in his life recently.

To Stiles, Derek had done so much to help him. Stiles didn't know if he could ever express his gratitude for everything Derek has done. Derek may not realize it, but Stiles knows that just being there has meant so much to him.

Without thinking, Stiles closed the small gap between the two and kissed him.

Stiles kissed Derek.

Stiles could not understand what he was doing, or why he currently found his lips pressed against Derek Hale. He couldn't tell if he was frozen from fear, or if it was the fact that Derek's lips were surprisingly soft. He also wasn't sure why Derek wasn't responding besides the slight parting of his own mouth. His brain couldn't process a simple thought as all his mental connections seemed to have gotten scrambled while he silently screamed, "what is happening!" inside his own head.

Despite the utter confusion about what he was doing and why, all he did know is that he hadn't felt this good in a very long time.

Slowly, Stiles pulled away and met the stare of Derek as he looked up at him. Stiles wished Derek would show some kind of emotion or response so he could stop internally freaking out, but like usual, Derek's face was stone solid.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that." Stiles uttered, completely embarrassed about the mess he was sure he just made. Why did he have to screw everything up he thought?

Before Stiles could roll back over onto his back, Derek quickly sat up and grabbed his face between his two hands.

"You never have to apologize to me for anything." Derek said, before planting his own kiss to Stiles' lips.

After lingering for a moment, Derek broke away and rolled onto his side before covering himself with a blanket.

Confused, Stiles sat there for a moment in a trance, not being able to process what just happened. Eventually he laid back down before staring up at the ceiling. He contemplated what any of this meant, but after realizing he wasn't going to find any answers tonight, he left himself slowly fade to sleep. Before that last bit of consciousness faded away, he let one final smile find its way to his face, as he thought about the day's events.

* * *

As Derek laid there thinking about what had happened, he couldn't really find any logical explanation, and was honestly to tired to care about what any of it meant regarding his own life.

What he did know however was that it likely meant something to Stiles. At the end of the day, all he cared about right now was making sure Stiles was happy. The guy was in a rough place, and Derek knew that.

Derek made a promise to himself that he would do anything to make sure Stiles returned to who he was before all this happened. To many people depended on the poor guy who couldn't seem to catch a break.

In the end, all Derek knew is that he wanted to make Stiles happy.

And when Stiles was happy, he was happy.

Before falling asleep, Derek's last thought was that he actually didn't mind the kiss.

Hell, he could even admit that he kind of liked it.

* * *

**Hey Guys, sorry I took so long with this. I was really busy recently and had some stuff I needed to get done. **

**Anyways, I hope you like it. I think it might be the last part of this story. A nice trilogy in a sense. I'm not sure though, we will see if I get inspired to continue. **

**Once again, PLEASE review and let me know how you like it. Feedback is one of the best things for a writer :P **


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